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The Road to Hell is Paved with Pain Chp. 3

Title: The Road to Hell is paved with…Pain
Author: angelsdee or Dee
Chapter: 3
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dean/OFC/Sam
Series: Why We Fight
Spoilers: No Rest for the Wicked
Disclaimer: I haven’t received the title on my navel lint yet so please do not sue. This is intended for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Sam and Alex search for a way to rescue Dean from Hell.
Author’s Note: My take on how Dean could be saved from the pit. I will do another take after the 4th season premiere and incorporate Alex into the story arc.

Days went by before he stopped crying constantly. More days went by before he slept without crying himself to sleep first. It took weeks before his eyes could handle light. The slightest sound still made him jump and sometimes run to hide in a confined space. He never left the bedroom and he still refused to look at their faces. In his mind, he was in another prison awaiting his punishment.


Sam and Alex never left him alone. It was a constant thing, watching over him. They were beyond exhausted when he died, on the verge of collapse when they affected his rescue and now that he was finally home, they had to watch him day and night. Bobby and Kevin tried to give them a chance to rest by taking watch but Dean went into hysterics when more bodies entered his room so they were on their own.


He didn’t sleep the first couple days. The fact that this Sam and Alex were capable of touching him and constantly did so, kept him on edge waiting for the pain to start. He couldn’t take it; the waiting, their touch, it was driving him insane. When they touched him, he flinched away, trying to avoid the contact but they wouldn’t let him.

Putting up with their soft, gentle caresses was torture while he waited for the torture to begin. “Please…just get it over with,” he sobbed when she ran her fingers through his hair and he touched his shoulder. “This is worse than anything…you’ve done to…me so far.”

It was at this point, when he cried, that she would pull him into her warm, lush body and hold him tight. He would wrap his long arms around her and him, holding them both. Dean wanted nothing more than to believe that this was Alex’s body that he nuzzled next to, to believe it was Sam’s arms that held them both but this was hell, they weren’t here and he continued to wait for the pain to come.

A knock sounded on the door three times a day and he would bring back food and drinks for them. She would feed him and hold the glass to his lips to drink. This confused him because in the many months that he’d been down here, he had never eaten or drank a thing but Dean just wrote it off as another trick played on his mind to wear him down.


When he finally fell asleep on his own accord, Sam slept on one side of him and Alex on the other. Nightmares plagued his dreams and he woke up crying or screaming several times in one day. It was a fight to restrain him every single time and it went on for weeks, neither one of them getting much sleep.

“You’re fixing to drop, Lex,” Sam whispered to her one day, kneeling in front of the chair that she melted into. “Maybe you should hit the spare room and get some rest, baby.”

“I can’t leave him,” she shook her head as she cast her weary eyes to Dean who was curled up in the corner.

“I’ll be here to watch over him, baby,” he tucked her hair behind her ear before he brushed the back of his fingers over her cheek. “You need to get your strength back, darlin. You were drained before you went down to get him and it’s only gotten harder on you since. I, at least, drew on the power to keep me going and that just weakened you further.”

“It was worth it,” her eyes watered while she watched her despondent lover. “By the Gods, Sam, I wish we could get him back. This is so unfair. We went through hell, gave up so much,” she covered her eyes with a trembling hand and cried softly. “I want my love back,” she choked out.

“Come here, Lex,” Sam slipped her off the chair into his lap and held her while she sobbed into his chest.

Dean slowly lifted his head from his knees when he heard her soft whimpers muffled against his skin. ‘I hate to see Lex cry, I always have,’ he thought sadly when he glanced at the shaking woman. ‘I wish she was here, no Dean, not here…never here!’ he quickly lowered his head when he stood up and carried her into the room they bathed him in.

“Sam, we shouldn’t leave him alone,” she choked out when he set her on the vanity and turned to fill the tub.

“He doesn’t leave the room, Alex,” he checked the temperature of the water before he moved to strip off her clothes. “He’ll be fine for a bit while I take care of you,” he lifted her chin to look into those endless eyes that he loved so much. “I need you back to your normal self so you can help me reach him, to bring him back to us,” he lifted her slight form, carried her to the tub, and set her in the warm water. “You’ve lost a lot of weight, Lex, and you didn’t have any to lose to begin with,” he mused while he stared at the sharp muscles etched into her body.

“I can still kick your gorgeous ass any day of the week,” she mumbled with her eyes closed, head resting on the edge of the tub.

“I know you can, darlin,” he smiled, sweeping her hair back with a gentle palm. “You soak and relax and I’ll go keep an eye on him, okay?”

“K,” she slurred through the quickly approaching bliss of sleep.

Sam walked out of the bathroom just as someone knocked on the door. With a glance out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dean quickly move from the corner closest to the door to the one by the bathroom. “What’s up, Kev?”

“Something’s come up,” Kevin shuffled between his feet uncomfortably. “Bobby needs to talk with either you or Lex right now.”

“She’s in the tub totally wiped,” he bit his bottom lip, glancing over his shoulder to see his brother, his arms wrapped around his bent legs with his head down on his knees. “I’ll go but it has to be quick,” he stepped out the door, pulling it closed behind him.

Dean’s head popped up when he heard the water splash in the tub. She was in there…alone. He scooted the few feet across the floor to look into the room and saw her there. He moved a little further in until her long hair hanging over the edge of the tub to curl on the tile floor was within reach.

‘She looks like Alex,” he stared at her sleeping features before he hesitantly ran his fingers over the silky locks on the floor. ‘She feels like Alex,’ he pulled his hand back when she moaned and shifted slightly in her sleep. He rose up on to his knees and chanced looking at her. ‘God, I miss her,’ he sighed when he stared at her body. His eyes shot wide and he froze in place when he slid his gaze back to her face to meet her eyes.

“Dean?” Alex spoke softly, not wanting to spook him since this was the first time he freely came to her. “Are you okay, love?” she placed her hands on the sides of the tub and moved to sit up. His eyes followed the water as it sloshed down her curves. “Dean?” she said hesitantly when she heard a sound rumble deep in his throat. Her eyes shot wide open when his hands closed around her neck.

“You aren’t her!” he growled as he choked the creature that took the form of his lover, pushing her under the water. “Stop looking like her!” he screamed into her shocked face beneath the water while she struggled to break his grip on her throat.

“Dean!” Sam reentered their room, immediately noticing his brother was missing from the corner and heard the splashing water and his yell. When he ran into the bathroom, he saw Dean choking the life out of their love, drowning her in the tub. “Dean!” He grabbed his brother’s hands, trying to wrest them from her throat while Alex’s legs kicked helplessly. “You’re killing her!” he screamed at his brother, pulling with all his might to free Alex.

“It isn’t her!” Dean shouted as he saw red. “It’s a fucking demon and you can’t fool me anymore, bitch!”

“Dean!” Sam yelled with tears in his eyes. His brother was killing their mate because of the insanity that the pit had instilled within his mind. Tears flowed down Sam’s panicked face as Alex met his gaze. In her weakened condition, she couldn’t break free and for some reason, Sam couldn’t get Dean’s hands to come loose. “Please…Dean, you’re killing Lex!” he cried before his brother suddenly flew across the room to crash into the wall.

Kevin breathed heavily through his mouth as his head snapped from Dean to his coughing cousin in Sam’s arms. He heard the screaming from the stairs and against Sam and Alex’s wishes, rushed into their room. His vision clouded over when he saw Dean drowning his only living relative and pure anger spurred the former wrestler to tear him away from her at all costs.

“Lex,” Sam pulled her out of the tub, on to his lap while she struggled to breathe. “Baby, are you okay?”

“Does she look okay to you, Sam?” Kevin yelled at the crying young man while he held his cousin to him for dear life. “He almost killed her!”

“Kev…stop…” Alex gasped, holding out a hand to deflect his temper.

“No!” he stalked across the room, knelt down before Dean, and grabbed the collar of his shirt until they were face to face. “You made me promise that I’d take care of her for you and I was here everyday that you were gone, watching the two of them die a little more every second without you,” he growled low in his throat. “They didn’t sleep or eat for more days than I can remember while they planned your rescue. Then she marches into hell when she is far from her best to get you out and what do you do?”

“Kev, stop,” Alex pleaded with him, tears flowing down her face.

“What do you do, Dean?” he screamed in his face, shaking him in his anger. “You refuse to believe that they are real and I can sympathize with that considering how long you were down there but that sympathy goes out the door when you try to kill my cousin! The girl that was so weak she could barely stand but walked into the pit to get you out and you try to kill her! No one kills my family,” he pushed him back against the wall, stood and pulled his cousin’s weakened body away from Sam. “We have a nasty habit of doing that ourselves and the longer she’s with you, the closer she gets to death and I won’t let that happen,” he carried her half-struggling form out of the bathroom.

“Kevin, where are you taking her?” Sam called out to him, moving to follow him after he glanced at his brother’s solemn face. “Kevin!”

“I’m taking her downstairs to rest and away from him!” he disappeared out of the bedroom and carried her downstairs, meeting the worried Bobby on the bottom landing. “Get the door to her room!”

“What the hell happened?” Bobby asked as he rushed ahead of him to open the door to the spare master. He followed Kevin to the bed, watched him place the naked, coughing woman in the center and cover her with a sheet. He saw the ugly red marks on her neck and grabbed Kevin’s arm to get his attention. “Did Dean do this?”

“He was strangling her, holding her under water,” Kevin whispered, trying to calm his rage.

“Darlin, are you gonna be okay?” Bobby grabbed her hand lightly in his, looking down into her crying eyes.

“I’ll be fine, Bobby, when I get back to them,” she threw off the sheet and moved to get up until her cousin grabbed her shoulders, pinning her to the bed.

“No, Lex,” his blue eyes pierced hers with a warning in them. “You’re staying here at least until you can defend yourself,” he covered her with the sheet once again, giving her a look of disapproval. “You know, when we were kids, I taught you how to wrestle and you picked it up so fast that you could’ve beaten most men. I know Dad put you through all those martial arts classes but the strength you have now is just uncanny. Lex, you know something is wrong with you if you couldn’t break his hold on you,” he whispered, brushing his fingers through her wet hair.

“I’m just tired, Kev,” she lowered her eyes, clearing her throat of the hoarseness. “It’ll pass when I can sleep for a while.”

“I don’t think so, darlin,” he lifted her chin to stare into her exceptionally dark eyes. “I think using all that magick did something to you but you go ahead and keep telling yourself and the rest of them that it’ll pass. I know better,” he leaned forward, kissing the top of her head before he stood. “I’ll go make you some hot tea for that sore throat,” he gave her a sad smile and walked out the door.

“Was he telling the truth?” Bobby sat beside her on the bed and sighed heavily when she averted her gaze. “You kids are gonna be the death of me,” he mumbled with a frustrated shake of the head. “I guess this officially makes you a Winchester now. You’re willing to sacrifice yourself for them without a thought to the consequences.”

“Bobby, I…its not like I’m going to die tomorrow or even a year from now,” she stared at the ceiling, picturing the faces of her loves in her mind. “I gave up a few years of my life, the power I funneled into Sam was my life force. It was necessary to pull this off and I think, I know it was worth it,” she leveled her gaze on his, the truth of her convictions there for him to see.

“Okay,” he nodded his head and went to stand up with a groan. “I guess I’ll have to handle this job on my own since Sam is needed to watch Dean while you’re incapacitated.”

“What job?”

She listened while he rambled on about the demonic activity that he picked up on in a nearby town. People were dying, mass chaos ensued, the typical things that happened when one of them were around.

“I’ll let you rest while I go pack my gear,” he kissed her forehead and turned to go to the door. Before he had a chance to twist the knob, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and she was standing right there. “Alex?” he furrowed his brow when he saw the spark in her eyes. Everything went dark a second later, when she pulled him into a headbutt and gently lowered him to the floor.


“Sam!” Kevin pounded on the door, fear gripping his heart in a vice-like fist. “Sam!”

“What?” Sam looked like a kid who lost his puppy when he opened the door. His sad eyes went from the worry on Kevin’s face to Bobby, who was holding an icepack to his forehead. “What happened?” he was all business now.

“Alex took off to do the job,” Bobby said with a guilty expression on his face.

Sam glanced at her safe that she kept her sword in and turned back to them with his mouth hanging open. “She doesn’t have her blade,” he swallowed heavily even as his mouth went dry.

“That isn’t all she doesn’t have, son. She’s missing a good many years of her life,” Bobby pushed into the room, uncaring that Dean was uncomfortable with their presence at this point. He wasn’t comfortable with Sam and tried to kill Alex so it really didn’t matter if he and Kevin were around. Bobby glanced at him sitting on the floor between the bed and the wall while he flopped down into a chair.

“Tell me what you know, Bobby,” Sam stood before him with his hands on his hips, an intense look on his face.

“That power she gave you, boy, that wasn’t just power, it was her life force that she poured into you to soup you up enough to take on hell and free Dean from the pit,” he knew he had tears in his eyes and he didn’t care. This was his adopted daughter he was talking about and it killed him just as sure as it did when something happened to either of the boys. “She gave you years of her life, Sam, to save him,” he pointed at Dean, who peeked over the edge of the bed when he heard the conversation. “It’s gonna take her a long time to heal from this, son, and the last thing she needs is to run off after a demon cuz you’re busy looking after him.”

“Sam, Bobby has a concussion and I don’t know jack about this,” Kevin grabbed his arm as he paced back and forth, biting his thumbnail. “You’ve gotta go get her, Sam,” Kevin pleaded with tears in his eyes. “Please…I’m begging you,” he whispered with a hitch in his voice.

“We’ll watch over him, son,” Bobby tilted his head in Dean’s direction and after a quick glance at him and Kevin, Sam ran to the vault, retrieved Alex’s sword and bolted out the door. “I hope you are listening over there, Dean,” Bobby called out without looking at the young man. “Your brother and your girl have been through hell right along with you to get you back. They have sacrificed just about everything they have to save you, from their health to their humanity to years off of one of their lives. Now it just might cost one of them all they have left to give, boy, and its all for you. Because they love you so damn much they can’t go on without you, they’ll throw it all away tonight but you’ll live on, thinking they died long ago and that just ain’t true.”

Kevin slid down the wall beside his chair, letting his arms lay across his knees. Bobby held the ice to his head, staring at the floor. Dean looked at them both curiously before his eyes focused on his surroundings. He lowered his gaze to the floor, holding his head in his hands.


“Bobby!” The front door crashed open with his kick and slammed shut behind him from bouncing off the wall. “Kevin!” Sam ran up the stairs, holding her still body in his arms as carefully as he could in his haste. “Bobby!”

“Bring her in here and put her on the bed!” the older man shouted at Sam, pushing the covers back for him to put her down. “Kevin, go get the medical bag she keeps in the bathroom under the sink! Now, son!” he yelled when her cousin didn’t move fast enough. “What happened, Sam?” he asked while he looked at her injuries.

“She had the damn thing almost dead before I showed. I messed up,” he shook his head sadly. “I distracted her when I showed up. I don’t think she expected me to come with Dean being the way he is and I distracted her. The fucking demon tossed her through a plate glass window the second he got the opening.”

“Did you kill it?”

“You bet I did,” Sam growled past his tears when he remembered seeing her body fly across the room and through the glass. “Is she gonna be okay?” his lip trembled when he looked at all the blood on her white shirt.

“I don’t know, son,” Bobby took the bag from Kevin, pulled out some scissors and cut a line from the hem of her tank to the collar. “Thank God, this girl has taken to wearing underwear since we’ve been here or I’d die of embarrassment or a heart attack,” he mumbled before he began to check over her wounds. “Someone get her pants off,” he shouted while he knelt and held a gauze pad to one particularly bad cut along her ribs. “Why’d you do this, darlin?” Bobby whispered with tears in his eyes.

“Because you’re my family too,” her broken voice drifted to his ears. “Dean…” Alex slurred in her delirium, her arm reaching out to him. Her unfocused eyes drifted across the room until she saw him, looking right at her. “Love…you…” she smiled with tears leaking down into her hair.

“Lex…” his voice was raspy and low but everyone heard him, making them stop what they were doing for a moment. He slid closer to the side of the bed, placing his hands on the edge while he glanced at the blood running down her side then back to her face. “Lex!”

“I’m…here,” she breathed softly before her eyes fell closed.


It took hours but Bobby and Kevin managed to stitch her up before the blood loss became life threatening. Sam was a mess, afraid that after everything they just went through, he’d end up losing her too. He was so overwrought with his sorrow that he didn’t even realize that the arms that were holding him were his brother’s.

It was the spark of danger, the air of insanity that he associated with Alex that made him realize this was his lover not some demon playing with his head. During the months upon months that he was in hell, every time he saw her that was missing from her eyes, from the air around her.

This was his lover and his little brother. They got him out and he almost killed her earlier this very day. Clarity began to enter his mind when Kevin told him about the promise he made him commit to before their battle with Lilith. The saddened speech Bobby gave him after Sam left dug into his protected heart and cracked the walls he put up to save himself. Seeing Alex on the verge of dying but still smiling at him with all the love she had for him broke them down like a battering ram. And Sam, crying uncontrollably for her not to die kicked his bound soul into overdrive.

“Am I dead?” she whispered through cracked lips, her eyes blinking from the overhead light.

“No but you’re gonna wish you were when the morphine wears off,” he whispered next to her ear so that they didn’t wake the others. “Hey beautiful,” he smiled when she turned her weary eyes to him.

“Hey handsome,” she smiled softly at him. “You remember who I am now?”

“Yep,” he nodded his head.

“Not gonna wring my neck again?”

“Nope,” he shook his head before a strangled sob escaped his throat. “I’m sorry,” he let the tears fall, a shaking finger skimming over the purple bruises on her neck that his hands left behind. “I didn’t know, I thought they were using you to…”

“Shh,” she placed a finger over his trembling lips. “You don’t have to explain. I saw what they were doing down there. I know part of what they were making you see and what they did to you,” she shuddered from the visions of how she had found him, the state he was in. “I don’t blame you but I’m so glad you’re back,” her voice broke when the tears came.

“Don’t cry, baby,” he whispered against her lips, his hand holding the back of her head. “I never could stand to see you cry,” he kissed her forehead before he allowed her to burrow into his chest.

“I missed you so much, Dean,” she clung on to him like he’d disappear if she let go.

“I missed you too, Lex,” he sighed, staring into Sam’s now opened eyes; who was lying beside her. “I’d still be down there if it wasn’t for you two, doing what you did, giving up what you did to save me,” he held his brother’s gaze, his gratitude and love there for him to see.

“I didn’t know what we were giving up until just a few hours ago, Dean,” Sam saw her shoulders visibly tense when he spoke up and gently pulled her until she was lying on her back. “Why didn’t you tell me?” his eyes danced between hers as he loomed above her.

“I couldn’t,” she shook her head with a stubborn look in her eye. “You were putting it all out there to get him back too. I did what I had to, what was necessary to keep you grounded to humanity so you could do what we needed to get him back.”

“You grounded me with your humanity, your life!” Sam raised his voice, waking Bobby and Kevin in the process. “I sat there like an idiot, thinking I was doing good, keeping this shit in me under control when all along I was sucking the life out of you like a vampire and you were just wasting away before my eyes and I wrote it off to exhaustion!”

“Shut up!” she snapped at him, making his eyes widen from the strength in her voice. “Don’t you dare be pissed at me for doing what I had to, for doing whatever I could to keep you alive and bring him back! If things had been reversed, if you knew the spells and I had the power, you know damn well you would’ve done the same thing for just a chance at getting him out!”

“I think we should go, son,” Bobby patted Kevin’s leg and moved to get up. “Things are back to what passes as normal for those three now and they can keep that shit up for hours before someone wins.”

“I put my money on her,” Kevin smirked at Bobby as they walked out the door.

“I’m not drunk or dumb enough to take that bet, son,” Bobby grinned as he pulled the door shut on the arguing threesome.

“Shut up, the both of you!” Dean bellowed in that commanding tone of his that always silenced them in a split second. “She’s right and you know it, Sammy,” he sighed as he glanced from her to him. “You both would do anything, did do everything to get me back and I should be so pissed at both of you for the risks you took but frankly,” he sighed with a single tear running down his cheek. “I’m so fucking grateful to the both of you for getting me out of there, so thankful that you both love me so damn much that you walked into hell to bring me back to my family. I…I don’t have the words…”

“It’s okay, Dean,” Sam gave him a watery smile, wrapping his long arms around the both of them. “You don’t need any, big brother.”

Alex curled into Dean’s chest, his arms around her body, holding her close. Sam wrapped himself around her back, one of his arms under her head and the other across her arm so that his hand lay between Dean’s shoulders. She kissed both of her men before settling into the warmth of their bodies.

“Lex,” Sam mumbled into her hair.


“You broke one of my rules.”

“I don’t care,” she sighed against Dean’s skin. “Do what you want to me but give me about a month to sleep.”

It had been months since any of them had a decent night’s sleep but after sniffling for a few minutes, grateful to be in each other’s arms again, they all drifted into a deep, contented slumber to heal from the pain and suffering of separation.



( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Jul. 1st, 2008 11:34 pm (UTC)
It's unbearable how Dean suffers.
You've done an excellent characterization of Dean being that broken.
No wonder he's in that bad state after having been tortured in hell.
You almost killed me with this part, do you know that?

And I could kill Alex. She does it again! Isn't there anybody who's capable of stopping her from sacrificing herself?
But I'm once again glad that Kevin is still with them.

And finally Dean realizes that Sam and Alex are real.
Oh, I totally love this part! <3
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

About Me

My name is Dee and I’m stuck in Texas physically but mentally…I’m with him.


[Sam] Dean, did you pay any attention to history class?
[Dean] Yeah. Shot heard round the world. How bills become laws...
[Sam] That's not school. That's School House Rock.
[Dean] Whatever.

The Things I Love

Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, Ronon Dex, John Sheppard, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, and the high-flying Jeff Hardy!

The Hotness

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By: sn_jo

By: sweetgirl7808


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